1. 12/26/15, 05:01 pm

Says: "This is a nice review of this concert in which you thoroughly describe the different acts, the directors' roles in the arrangements, and some of your opinions and criticisms. While you do have a sense of a beginning, middle and end, sometimes your paragraphs can seem a bit unstructured. We are not sure what you are going to say and what the specific purpose of the paragraph is. This could be improved by playing with the organization of your paragraphs a bit more so that they have a logical flow to them. You also tend to be very thorough and descriptive in the second paragraph. There was a bit too much description here. Changing up your sentence structure would help. "